how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You are a genius and a whore.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
