im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
