all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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