Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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