Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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