She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
