I got chris browned last night
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
