i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
