Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
