i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my shit smells like andre
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
