His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
