It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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