i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
