I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize