allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
