tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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