matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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