A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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