The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize