I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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