Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
third nipple confirmed
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
