Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
