i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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