Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
