Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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