super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
