fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
