Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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