Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
