yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
