Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
