i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
