North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
