i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
