Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
