I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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