then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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