omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
