If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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