I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
