I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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