Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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