Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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