Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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