And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
