Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize