Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
