You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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