the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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