All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
