how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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