I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
