Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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