That's intense
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
